As for the "it will hurt your knees", "that can't be healthy", "you are obsessive", and all the similar comments. To them I simply respond back with the fact that I would rather end this life crushed, drained and barely held together by modern medicine rather than having gone through it too scared to ever find my own limitations.
Monday, September 17, 2007
An uplifting reminder
After all my problems the last few weeks, I thought this quote from someone on the Runner's World forum was quite appropriate. It is in responce to a question asked about dealing with non-runner's comments about marathoning.....
Pity Party
Sorry I didn't get the invites out to you on time, but Friday night I hosted a little pity party for myself. Last week's runs went okay....some good and some bad. I decided to only run 4 days rather than 5 to ease back into it. My calves and shins held up fine, but it was my heart and head that were bothering me. I've been really anxious and not looking forward to my runs because I don't know how they are going to feel....one day everything would be great and the next day would be rough. I couldn't get excited for my long run because I was nervous about how it would go.
On Friday night, I was looking for any excuse not to run on Saturday morning. The weather forecast was predicting rain and I decided to push the long run until Sunday.....until dinner time rolled around. Every Friday night for the past 15 weeks I have eaten pasta in preparation for my long run and now I didn't know what to eat. Then I realized that I have never skipped a run because of weather.....why should this be any different? Pushing it back a day would prolong the anxiety so I put on a pot of boiling water and made my pasta.
Sure enough it was drizzling when I woke up Saturday. I got ready like I always do and set out for 17 miles. As I was running, I was focusing so much on keeping a decent pace.....I was miserable and getting frustrated. After a couple miles and seriously thinking about calling it quits, I thought to myself "this isn't fun and why should I do something for almost 3 hours on a Saturday morning if I'm not enjoying it??" I decided at that point to forget about my pace and just run.......once I did that, I started having fun!! The rain beat down, I had to maneuvere past a couple thousand walkers for a charity 10k walk, but I had fun. Bryan met me for the last 4 miles and we got wet running together. No, it wasn't a fast run (averaged 9:25 pace) but what's the point of doing anything if it isn't fun?
So sorry again for not inviting you to my pity party :) Next time I will try to do something a little more up beat!
On Friday night, I was looking for any excuse not to run on Saturday morning. The weather forecast was predicting rain and I decided to push the long run until Sunday.....until dinner time rolled around. Every Friday night for the past 15 weeks I have eaten pasta in preparation for my long run and now I didn't know what to eat. Then I realized that I have never skipped a run because of weather.....why should this be any different? Pushing it back a day would prolong the anxiety so I put on a pot of boiling water and made my pasta.
Sure enough it was drizzling when I woke up Saturday. I got ready like I always do and set out for 17 miles. As I was running, I was focusing so much on keeping a decent pace.....I was miserable and getting frustrated. After a couple miles and seriously thinking about calling it quits, I thought to myself "this isn't fun and why should I do something for almost 3 hours on a Saturday morning if I'm not enjoying it??" I decided at that point to forget about my pace and just run.......once I did that, I started having fun!! The rain beat down, I had to maneuvere past a couple thousand walkers for a charity 10k walk, but I had fun. Bryan met me for the last 4 miles and we got wet running together. No, it wasn't a fast run (averaged 9:25 pace) but what's the point of doing anything if it isn't fun?
So sorry again for not inviting you to my pity party :) Next time I will try to do something a little more up beat!
Monday, September 10, 2007
Five whole days off!
I held true to my word and took the rest of last week completely off....no running, no crosstraining, no weights...nothing. I iced my calves multiple times a day, massaged them myself, and took lots of Advil.
On Thursday morning I got an extremely painful deep tissue massage....60 minutes of torture focused solely on my calves! I swear that she was using her elbow to push as hard as humanly possible on my muscles......and I pay her money for this?!?!?
I went on Saturday to Marathon Sports to talk with the people there about my problems and my shoes, but they couldn't find any reason for my pain. I got sad because they wanted to watch me run to make sure my gait hadn't changed and just running up the block made my calf tighten up again. They said to be really vigilant with my stretching and I should be okay.
So Sunday Bryan and I went out for an easy 3.5 miles just to see how I was feeling. My calf was tight, but not as bad as it had been last week. It hurt more to run slow and hurt the most once I stopped running and cooled down. I went home and stretched it really well and then iced it.
I plan to start back up with my real training today so we'll see how it goes. I hope that I can get through the next 5 weeks strong and in as little pain as possible. Unfortunately, to run pain free means subjecting myself to weekly torture sessions with my massage lady and her unforgiving elbow!!
On Thursday morning I got an extremely painful deep tissue massage....60 minutes of torture focused solely on my calves! I swear that she was using her elbow to push as hard as humanly possible on my muscles......and I pay her money for this?!?!?
I went on Saturday to Marathon Sports to talk with the people there about my problems and my shoes, but they couldn't find any reason for my pain. I got sad because they wanted to watch me run to make sure my gait hadn't changed and just running up the block made my calf tighten up again. They said to be really vigilant with my stretching and I should be okay.
So Sunday Bryan and I went out for an easy 3.5 miles just to see how I was feeling. My calf was tight, but not as bad as it had been last week. It hurt more to run slow and hurt the most once I stopped running and cooled down. I went home and stretched it really well and then iced it.
I plan to start back up with my real training today so we'll see how it goes. I hope that I can get through the next 5 weeks strong and in as little pain as possible. Unfortunately, to run pain free means subjecting myself to weekly torture sessions with my massage lady and her unforgiving elbow!!
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Things are not looking good :-(
As I just wrote, my calf has been really tight lately. I think I have been lying to myself (and others) about just how bad it really is and how much its hurting. The first couple steps of just walking after I have been sitting for a while hurt my shin....my calf feels like it's in a permanent knot. I guess I didn't want to admit all this to anyone....I was afraid of admitting how much it really hurt and afraid of how it would affect my running the next 6 weeks before Hartford.
On Monday I went out for what should have been an 8 mile run. I started out and immediately my calf tightened up. My head and heart really weren't into the run, my breathing was all erratic, and I let all this mentally get to me. I stopped to stretch every once in a while and walking actually made it feel worse. While fighting back tears and cursing my fu@*%ng calf , I made the decision to turn around early cutting the run to 4 miles. It was really hard to make that call because I have never quit a run early.
I came home with tears in my eyes thinking the worse......my dream of qualifying for Boston was probably out the window and at that point I didn't know if I will even be able to run the marathon. I have come to accept that I need to take some time off.....I am better trained right now that I was for Boston and if I don't rest this now, then I really might not be able to run Hartford. Sure I probably won't run as fast as I would like, but I would rather finish the race standing up than have to quit mid-way through because I went out too fast and further injured myself.
So as I sit at my desk with an ice pack wrapped around my calf that is propped up on my upside down trash can, I think I have come to accept things as they are. I plan to take this week off from running.....I have a massage scheduled for Thursday to hopefully loosen up the muscle, I'll ice it as often as I can, stretch and massage it myself at home, and take Advil to help with the inflammation.
Hopefully this will be enough to get me across the finish line in 6 weeks with a smile on my face......for now I just have to rest :-(
On Monday I went out for what should have been an 8 mile run. I started out and immediately my calf tightened up. My head and heart really weren't into the run, my breathing was all erratic, and I let all this mentally get to me. I stopped to stretch every once in a while and walking actually made it feel worse. While fighting back tears and cursing my fu@*%ng calf , I made the decision to turn around early cutting the run to 4 miles. It was really hard to make that call because I have never quit a run early.
I came home with tears in my eyes thinking the worse......my dream of qualifying for Boston was probably out the window and at that point I didn't know if I will even be able to run the marathon. I have come to accept that I need to take some time off.....I am better trained right now that I was for Boston and if I don't rest this now, then I really might not be able to run Hartford. Sure I probably won't run as fast as I would like, but I would rather finish the race standing up than have to quit mid-way through because I went out too fast and further injured myself.
So as I sit at my desk with an ice pack wrapped around my calf that is propped up on my upside down trash can, I think I have come to accept things as they are. I plan to take this week off from running.....I have a massage scheduled for Thursday to hopefully loosen up the muscle, I'll ice it as often as I can, stretch and massage it myself at home, and take Advil to help with the inflammation.
Hopefully this will be enough to get me across the finish line in 6 weeks with a smile on my face......for now I just have to rest :-(
Last week's "race" and long run
This past week I "raced" a 10k (6.2 miles) against myself and guess what....I came in 1st place :) Its hard to really mimic race conditions without having other people around and not getting that adrenaline rush from a race, but I couldn't find a tune-up race in the area. I finished in 47:34 (pace of 7:40 min/mile)...not bad considering that it was humid and my shin/calf were bothering me.
On Saturday I met up with John and Paul again for an 18 mile run. The weather was much cooler than last week. For the first 5 miles or so, my calf was so tight I thought I would have to turn around early. Luckily after a couple miles, it loosened up and I had a good run. We all were able to pick up the pace towards the end. I took some time to really stretch out my calves after we finished, but it seemed to tighten up again once I stopped running.
I finished the holiday weekend with a bike ride, a picnic, and a day at the beach.....what better way to end the summer :)
On Saturday I met up with John and Paul again for an 18 mile run. The weather was much cooler than last week. For the first 5 miles or so, my calf was so tight I thought I would have to turn around early. Luckily after a couple miles, it loosened up and I had a good run. We all were able to pick up the pace towards the end. I took some time to really stretch out my calves after we finished, but it seemed to tighten up again once I stopped running.
I finished the holiday weekend with a bike ride, a picnic, and a day at the beach.....what better way to end the summer :)
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